Inner bonding, inner child work, etc. is a process of connecting your Adult thoughts with your instinctual gut feelings, the feelings of the child that lives within you so that you can live free of conflict within yourself, and feel safe, sane and secure in the world being yourself. Inner conflict, discomfort or dis-ease is the difference between what you think you should do or feel with your actual feelings – those gut level emotions and attitudes.

Have you ever been in a crowded room and felt so alone as if you were the only one there? Have you ever ended a relationship to just jump into another relationship with a similar type person and repeat the cycle yet again? Do you schedule every second of your day to create a busy life because you can’t stand hearing your own thoughts? Are you afraid to feel your feelings or just don’t know what you are really feeling? Do you constantly judge yourself? Do you know what makes you tick, what you want, who you are, when to say yes when you mean YES. And when to say no when you want to say NO?, Do you know why you do the things you do, and how you make decisions?

To live the life you were meant to live is about discovering and living your truth despite what others may want you to believe, be, do or have. It is about TRUSTING your feelings and following your heart. Living your truth means knowing and connecting with your self at the deepest level as you would your own child or a best friend. Do you tell yourself, as you do your child/best friend, you have every right to feel the way you feel? You are perfect just the way you are? I will support you no matter what? Your soul mate is out there he/she is getting ready for you? It’s ok to be sad or angry, I would be sad or angry if I were in your shoes? He/she had no right to treat you that way? Good for you for sticking up for yourself? I love you just the way you are!?

There is this saying that “when you follow your heart you get hurt” which is a belief that creates fear and keeps many immobile and following the grain of the status quo. However, there is another saying that will challenge you – “the heart is made to be broken over and over again.” It is through pain, challenges, discomfort that you grow, change, transform and shift your paradigms. When you follow the thoughts that have been programmed into your mind you become stuck and comfortable in your un-comfortableness. You wonder – “why things don’t change, why can’t I be happy or feel peace, why do I always feel alone even when I am in someone’s company, why can’t I find the perfect mate, job, etc., why is this happening to me again, and how did I turn out to be just like my mother/father/uncle/aunt/teacher/etc.?”

But when you get in touch with yourself, follow your heart, feel your feelings and trust that inner voice that says you can BE, DO and HAVE anything the world has to offer well that’s when things get exciting. And maybe for the first time you will see who you really are and really live your own life – the life you dreamed of as a child!


1) Create a collage of pictures of yourself as a child (include all stages of development – infant, toddler, pre-school, school age, adolescents and adult).
2) Visualize your adult self with your inner child at the different stages of development
3) Ask him/her if he/she has something to tell you
4) Ask him/her what he/she is feeling
5) Wait for the answers
6) Tell him/her that you will be there for him/her no matter what and that his/her feelings are important to you.
7) Wait for a response
8) Journal about your experience
9) Practice this daily and notice any changes you experience within you

You are so loved, so love yourself just as much!