Are you or do you know someone who goes into intimate details of their pain? They enjoy sharing every single aspect with all of the descriptions – adding color, sound, scents and even flavor whenever possible. They passionately tell everyone who would listen of the scars they received as if they had been awarded a badge of honor. They make love to their pain, keeping it close and clenching it tightly to themselves.
I was once one of those people. I grew up believing that happiness came in moments and that pain was a constant. So it was easy for me to make love to my pain endlessly, loyally and devotedly. I was also conditioned, like most people, to celebrate my pain because misery attracts company. And in company I was able to obtain what it was that I truly desired and needed – ATTENTION, LOVE and SUPPORT. But the type of attention, love and support I desired was not provided through the emptiness of my temporary agreeing fans. It was given when I was able to create a deep connection to myself. The happiness I longed for was never satisfied by the people or things that were outside of me. I always remained thirsty and hungry.
In order to discover happiness, I delved into the crevices of my mind to discover if there was ever a moment I was happy. I was never accustomed to expressing joy or sharing intimate details of my elation. I could not remember and I found it very hard to believe that I had ever had a cheerful moment in my life. I wanted to BELIEVE that happiness was actually possible and believing it was difficult for me because I could not remember ever experiencing it. I went into every nook and cranny, every single corner of my memories only to come up empty. I remained thirty and hungry.
But one day I woke up and realized none of that mattered to me. Whether or not I experienced joy ever in my life did not change the fact that I desired to be happy. I just made up my mind and decided I was going to be happy. I was not only determined to make happiness a constant in my life, I was going to fight to have it. Whatever it took and whatever was meant to happen I was going to be ecstatic. Do I have moments or days that I want to crawl under my comforter and wish the world away? Yes absolutely but those moments or days do not make up my weeks, months or years? Happiness is my constant and I am passionately making love to it!
What will you do to be happy? Are you waiting for an invitation or for someone to gift it to you? Why not start living today? We are never guaranteed tomorrow.
LIVE YOUR HEART’S TRUTH JOURNAL ASSIGNMENT
1. Are you satisfied with your life as it is?
2. Are you happy?
3. What are you willing to do in order to be happy?
4. What will it take in order for you to make up your mind to be happy?
5. Do you believe someone else is in charge of your happiness?
