If you are anything like me then you have spent your life trying to get people to love you or finding someone to love. You were hard wired at a very early age to believe that being alone is terrible, and that perfect love exists ONLY outside of you and perhaps even out of this world. The search for love becomes your destiny and as you search for this “perfect” love, you experience various ideas of what others believe about it. These experiences cause imprints in your mind and body of thoughts and feelings of unworthiness, lack and loneliness. Then you do absolutely anything to fight these thoughts and feelings by distracting your mind, over indulging your body and pretending that the pain you feel really does not exist. You enter into relationships hoping to be rescued. You say to yourself… this it, this is the one who will save me from what I am feeling lonely, separate, sad, unworthy, rejected, abandoned, etc…. only to find yourself still searching for love while in relationship.
So how can you be alone and in love? There is no such thing! Yes you read it right; there is no such thing as being alone and in love. The truth is – you are never ever alone because wherever you are, you is right there with you. You might be saying to yourself – yup I’ve read this type of mumbo jumbo before and I don’t buy it. Well, you don’t have to buy into anything. The truth is truth. If you can’t be alone with you and in love with yourself well how can you expect anyone else to love you the way you desire? And if this is hitting a nerve it’s because it is meant to. You are being called to wake up to the truth. Being in love with you is about knowing all of you and accepting yourself unconditionally. It is about allowing you to be you with all of your perfections and perfect imperfections. And until you can be in love with you no other love will satisfy you or your search for love.
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The “love” that you substitute for the love of yourself will satisfy the desperation, the loneliness and the emptiness but only temporarily. Until, one day you find yourself looking at yourself in the mirror wondering “why am I in this relationship? I feel so alone!” This is because the “love” you substituted for the love of yourself had an agenda, a condition or even an attachment to the love you were giving and receiving. This is called the “I will love you if” syndrome. In order for you to give up that agenda, condition and attachment you have towards love you must be willing to unconditionally love yourself first. The point is if you are giving and loving yourself completely then you don’t seek outside of yourself for any fillings.
You often use logic and reason to solve your problems with love. You move along in your life doing everything with the status quo by using fillings that only temporarily ease your pain. These fillings are just ways to avoid yourself. Has it worked for you so far? Why not try something different? Stop ignoring yourself and your own heart. Take a chance and do something different, daring and unheard of. Find yourself and the love you desire through solitude. Spending time alone with you will help you develop your own personality and beliefs, establish a stronger sense of self, and find your own individual style. The time you take alone will help you to discover who you really are and not the person your family, friends, partner, etc. want or have tried to mold you to be. You will then feel less desperate to immediately attach yourself to someone or something in an attempt to avoid yourself.
Why don’t you feel in love with yourself? There could be many reasons for it – childhood experiences, relationship issues, etc. While it is helpful to understand the root of your disconnection to self, your job is to learn how to love you and practice it each day. No one can do this for you. Someone can help you achieve this state but to remain in love with you is ultimately your job. If you wait around for someone to come along and do it for you, you might be waiting a long time. It starts with you loving you. Apply today, I guarantee you will not only get the job but it will be the best job of your life!
You are so loved so love yourself just as much!!!
