Although one would think that we would release painful feelings quickly, that is not always the case.
The reason why you have held on to painful feelings is because they allow you to stay connected to your past hurts and provides you with an excuse as to why you are not being in your truth. Why do you do this? Because sometimes you don’t want to let go of the people to whom you have attached the pain you have within you. This is the only way your ego mind believes you can still stay connected with them. It is also more comfortable to the ego mind to be right where you are instead of changing, shifting and transforming from where you are to where your HEART wants you to be.
Understanding Your Ego
Changing past beliefs requires work, attention and intention to learn, heal and grow. While the ego is very active and expends a lot more energy keeping you stuck in the past, it feels safe in it because the past is known and the future becoming something or someone other than whom you are right now is unknown to your ego mind. The known feels safe and the unknown feels unsafe.
But feelings buried alive never die. And when you block yourself from feeling the painful feelings you are unable to fully feel and experience joy, happiness, pleasure and Love.
When your pain is deep, you will have strong urges to resist it. You will use drugs, sex, food, entertainment, work, relationships, excuses, hobbies, exercise, thoughts, illness, a new project or venture, an agenda and basically anything else to avoid feeling that deep pain. Let me repeat this: YOUR EGO MIND WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO PROTECT YOU FROM FEELING WHATEVER IT IS YOU ARE FEELING IN AN ATTEMPT TO PROTECT YOU. The ego is designed to protect you. It is also the owner and manager of the warehouse that stores all of your past experiences. To the ego, for you to feel those deep feelings of hurt, pain, anger, sadness, etc. is like going out of business with absolutely nothing and no one to go to for support and being left to die right in the middle of the street.
Don’t Let the Boiling Pot Spill Over the Top
Who wants to feel that sort of pain? I know I didn’t for a long time. Every time I would get glimpses of old hurts I would collapse on to the floor begging the Divine to make them go away as my ego became very busy distracting me from them. But the pain doesn’t go away just because you have shoved it down and buried it alive. The opposite actually occurs. The feelings become more intense, multiplying with each passing moment you try to hide them until you are emotionally triggered.
The emotional triggers don’t even have to be so extreme or logical. They can be a dream you had, someone cutting you in line at the supermarket, someone tailgating you on the highway, someone kissing you on the forehead instead of your cheek, finding a note from an old friend, etc. It doesn’t matter what the event is that causes the trigger so much as the feelings that arise. The feelings become so intense you explode at the most inconvenient times, in the most inconvenient places and to or in front of people you wish hadn’t witnessed the explosion. I like to compare this to a pot of boiling liquid. When it is left on the stove unattended it will eventually spill over the pot and on to your stove making a real mess. And if you don’t clean it up it stinks and attracts all sorts of things into your living space you don’t want to attract.
The more aware you become of your emotional triggers, feel all of your feelings and discover the truth that is within you the less the power your painful experiences have over you. This takes practice, time and yes work. However, the benefits are that you get to move on with your life, feel the higher vibration feelings you so desire to feel, and create more loving conscious relationships with people you love including yourself.
Happiness, joy, pleasure, love are not gifts. They are your divine birthright to feel and experience. You deserve to feel them whether you choose to feel them or not.
You are so loved so love yourself just as much!
