It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer
As detailed in the previous Love Yourself! Inspiration, we all scrape the edges
of the two extremes of the self-esteem spectrum. The narcissist desires to be seen and admired. On the extreme end of the narcissist is the low self-esteem (L.S.E.) person who desires to be hidden and unnoticed. Ultimately, the true heart’s desires of both is to be loved, accepted and approved of but the tendencies of each will be to seek it out in extreme opposite ways.
The L.S.E. person will experience the following:
1) Judges self harshly, constantly beating her self up but is extremely critical and judges others even though she will not express it.
2) Is hypersensitive to criticism and she actually fears it. This makes her feel easily attacked, rejected, and defensive.
3) Fears making a mistake, so she is often indecisive or confused and is a perfectionist.
4) Fears saying no because she is afraid to make people angry so she herself is deeply angry inside though she hides it.
5) Fears intimacy because of her extreme fear of being rejected so she will often hide her true self in order to be accepted by others.
6) Fears being abandoned but continues to be in relationships with people who abandon in order to play out the fear so she can justify her reasons for avoiding relationships and people.
7) Lacks trust of others because she doesn’t trust herself.
While some of you might connect with a couple of these behaviors, some others might connect with all. Understanding this may create some feelings within you. Honor your feelings and validate for yourself that you have grown because you are willing to look inside. This is a huge step to creating a stronger self-esteem. Other steps include:
• Becoming accountable for how you behave, think and feel. No one has the power to make you do, think or feel a certain way. And the sooner you accept this the sooner you can take charge of and change your life.
• Understanding your agenda as to why you do the things you do. This allows you to know yourself, be intimate with yourself and ultimately helps you to change unwanted behaviors.
• Accepting yourself as you are right now without judgment not only honors you but allows you the space for making mistakes. Mistakes are how you learn and grow.
• Loving yourself for being alive because if you don’t love yourself who will since the world is a mirror of you.
When you develop a strong, healthy self-esteem you feel free. You are free to be who you are and are able to take risks to be vulnerable because there is no need to wear a mask. You feel a sense of value and worth. You are desired for you rather than what you do or own. You are respected and understood. And you become less afraid to live life. The life you always dreamed of living as a child.
ARE YOU READY TO UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE AND ACCEPT YOU?
