How to Forgive Yourself: The Inner Mastery Approach
Forgiveness is not just a feeling; it is an act of Radical Sovereignty. It is a skill you cultivate to reclaim your energy and stop the leaks created by shame and regret. Below are the steps to forgiving yourself using the Inner Mastery of Love methodology.
Step 1: The Audit – Recognize the Survival Response Stop judging your past actions as "mistakes." Instead, understand that at that moment, you were doing what you needed to do to stay safe. You didn't fail; you froze to survive. When you shift your perspective from "I messed up" to "I was surviving," you move from shame to understanding. This is the first step in stopping the energy leak.
Step 2: Write a Compassion Letter In your program, we don't just "let go"; we actively honor the past version of ourselves. Write a Compassion Letter to the version of you who was in that painful situation. Tell her, "I see you. I know you were scared. I know you were doing your best to survive. I love you, and I’ve got you now." This bridges the gap between your current Sovereign Self and your wounded Inner Child.
Step 3: Neutralize the Hook (Shadow Work) Often, we blame ourselves for tolerating bad behavior from others. You must realize that the other person's behavior was about their deficit, not your worth. Release the role of "The Fixer." You cannot heal them, and it was never your job to try. By neutralizing this hook, you stop taking responsibility for their dysfunction and release the heavy burden of "fixing" the past.
Step 4: The Guilt Detox As you forgive yourself, you may feel the urge to over-explain or apologize to keep the peace. Stop. Practice the Guilt Detox: learn to tolerate the discomfort of disappointing others rather than betraying yourself. Your healing does not require their validation. Standing in your truth may feel uncomfortable at first, but that discomfort is simply the sensation of your old "compliance" programming dying off.
Step 5: The Somatic Reset Forgiveness happens in the body, not just the mind. You cannot think your way out of a nervous system response. Use your breath and somatic practices to move from Reaction to Response. When the old guilt arises, pause, ground yourself, and regulate your nervous system. Show your body that you are safe now, so you don't have to keep re-living the past.
Step 6: Claim Your Currency Your energy is your currency. Every moment you spend beating yourself up is a payment you are making to the past. Decide today to stop paying that debt. Reclaim that energy and invest it in your Inner Creation—magnetizing the safe, reciprocal, and sovereign love that you deserve.
Step 7: Anchor in Sovereignty Be grateful not just for the lesson, but for the Sovereignty you have built. You are no longer the person who had to freeze or fawn to stay safe. You are the healed, transformed leader of your own life. Give thanks to the Divine for the journey, knowing that every step was necessary to build the powerful, sovereign woman you are today.
